The Sky
who are you?
the earth asked
the pink reddish october sky kept quiet
as the cold wind blew away the dead grass
finally, the pink reddish sky answered
i am beauty
i am hope
i am el infinito
The Sky
Featured
The Mayans Were Wiped Out
I’d prepared 3 tacos for lunch before she asked me with an angelic smile where I’d come from. She didn’t give me time to answer her first question when she interrupted herself with a giggle and added, “You’re the one Mayan from the email.”
She was referring to the email the organization had sent that morning in order to highlight the scholarship winners. My group was late for lunch because our teacher had forgotten to let us go for lunch. You see my teacher is from New York, and she hadn’t paid attention to the time change, or at least that was her excuse.
“You’re Mayan, right?” She asked me as I was trying to formulate an answer to her first question, “and your kind was wiped out, right?”
She looked at me as she wanted me to answer her questions, but perhaps she saw my puzzled face, so she giggled again to avoid her awkward questions. Indeed, I was puzzled by her questions and comments about the subject of the Mayans’ demise.
I was trying to figure out what she meant by “wiped out,” when a second middle-age lady butted in with her own comment to correct the first lady. “Eradicated,” she interrupted, “his kind were eradicated.”
What is the difference I thought silently as I stopped and looked at both ladies? I wanted to correct both ladies with a harsh tone; however, I just looked at them thinking of how much these two ladies knew about us, the Mayans.
I thought for a second bout this disgrace because these two ladies lived about 650 miles away from Yucatan, my home state in Mexico. They should have known that across their bay lays the old Mayan empire full of Mayan natives and expats living in a peninsula called Yucatan.
I had been trained as a teacher not to disregard anyone’s comments or ideas when I teach, so I put on my teacher’s hat and offered an answer that might not offend both ladies.
“Both of you are correct to an extent,” I finally answered, “Indeed, the Mayan people have been wiped out…to an extent as you know. The Mayan people were part of the Spanish colonization, so we have been exposed to genocide and eradication.”
Both of the ladies looked at me guiltily just like if they knew they have messed up. Perhaps, they were ashamed to be informed that the Mayan people are very much alive.
“You see,” I addressed both ladies, “There is a whole country of Mayans in the world, and today I want to let you know the Mayan people are very much alive. I am proof.”
If You Ever Visit Huhi
This poem is one (if not the first poem) ever published in my life. The poem is a reflection of my hometown, Huhi.
If You Ever Visit Huhi
if you ever visit Huhi, find my parents,
they live in a small house with mud walls.
they must be old by now, but they are waiting
for me. tell them you saw me here in the desert,
alone, and thirsty. tell them i want to come back
home to rest in peace in my hammock. tell them
i have not slept for years and i want to dream again.
if you ever visit Huhi, go to the cemetery and find
a grave, newly dug. find don juanito, tell him
i am coming home soon. tell him my parents will
pay him with two chickens and a dove if he gives
me lots of water when the droughts begin,
i am thirsty and you do not know how painful
it is to be thirsty and have no water to drink.
if you ever visit Huhi, find doña micaela,
mi abuela, and tell her to cook me a good cochinita pibil
with lots of red onions, and chiles habaneros.
tell her to bring it to the graveyard every dia de muertos,
so those who have no one to cook for them
can taste it, too. tell her i miss her cooking
and her laughter, please if you find her alive tell her
i always think about her and my grandfather, el leñador.
if you ever visit Huhi, go to the church and find
el padrecito and tell him to offer a mass for my
soul, a mass will give me strength. knowing
someone is waiting for me makes me happy.
tell him i am coming home soon, my parents
will pray to the Virgin de Guadalupe a whole year.
tell him if he has some left-over wine, he can
pour some on top of my grave. i am thirsty.
if you ever visit Huhi, wait in the dark alleys
i once roamed, listen to my cries, be silent, do not
be afraid, as it is only me, your old friend,
the one who roams the desert. soon, i will arrive
at the town where i was born many summers ago.
if you ever visit huhi, visit the lagoons,
you will find me there drinking
water as i am dead and very thirsty.
Skyline College Poetry Workhop
Mi Nombre Es Dimas
Mi Nombre Es Dimas
after Frida Kahlo’s “El difunto Dimas Rosas a los 3 años de edad.”
yo siempre quise ser rey, no santo,
yo había soñado con ángeles
muchos ángeles con las alas
gigantes y de muchos colores,
en esta tierra de indios,
me llaman Dimas como mi padre,
yo nunca aprendí a leer o a escribir,
yo quería ser rey, pero me han vestido
como santo, con ropas finas, una corona
de padre, un lazo rosa de seda,
y la túnica de monaguillo,
me han traído gladiolas y cempasúchil,
yo soy un santo durmiendo encima de un petate,
estoy descalzo, mis pies son negros,
tengo mucho frio, he caminado
sobre espinas, y botellas quebradas,
mi cabeza de indio descansa
sobre una almohadilla que mi madre
ha bordado por todo un año,
me han coronado como santo,
mi nombre es Dimas,
soy un pobre indio,
que soñó ser un rey;
Gerardo Pacheco Matus, a Mayan Native, is the recipient of the distinguished Joseph Henry Jackson Award and fellowships from CantoMundo, The Frost Place, Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference and The Katharine Bakeless Nason Endowment. Pacheco’s poems and essays have appeared and are forthcoming from La Bloga, Spillway, Grantmakers in the Arts, Apricity Press, Amistad, Haight Ashbury Literary Journal, Cipactli, Poets Responding to SB 1070, The Packinghouse Review, Tinderbox Poetry Journal, West Branch Wired, The Cortland Review and Tin House Magazine.
“Si un día vas a Huhí” Pacheco Matus Versión al español: Fer de la Cruz
Si un día vas a Huhí
Gerardo Pacheco Matus
Versión al español: Fer de la Cruz
si un día vas a Huhí, busca a mis padres
en su casa pequeña de paredes de barro.
ya deben de ser viejos y aún me esperan.
ve y diles que me has visto sediento y solitario
aquí en este desierto. y que quiero ir a casa
y en mi hamaca encontrar descanso eterno.
y diles que por años no he dormido y otra vez quiero soñar.
si un día vas a Huhí, el cementerio
tiene una fosa nueva que cavó don Juanito.
dile que vuelvo a casa ya muy pronto y que mis padres
le darán dos gallinas y una paloma en pago
si me da mucha agua durante la sequía.
voy sediento y no sabes cuánto duele
la sed cuando no hay agua que tomar.
si un día vas a Huhí, ve con mi abuela.
es doña Micaela. dile que me prepare cochinita
con cebolla morada en abundancia y habanero,
y lo lleve al panteón en día de muertos.
así, quienes no tengan alma que les cocine,
podrán probar su esencia. dile. extraño su cocina
y su alegría. si la encuentras aún viva, por el amor de dios,
yo siempre pienso en ella y en mi abuelo, el leñador.
si un día vas a Huhí, ve a la iglesia y encuentra al padrecito.
y pídele que ofrezca una misa por mi alma,
una misa que me devuelva el ánimo.
me alegro de saber que alguien me espera.
dile que vuelvo a casa ya muy pronto,
que mis padres le harán rezos a la virgen todo el año.
dile que, si le sobra algo de vino,
lo derrame en mi tumba. tengo sed.
si un día vas a Huhí, espera en los oscuros callejones.
los recorrí hace mucho. escucha mis lamentos,
en silencio. y no temas, soy yo, tu viejo amigo,
el mismo que recorre hoy el desierto. pero pronto
voy a volver al pueblo en que nací
hace muchos veranos.
si un día vas a Huhí, visita las aguadas
donde me encontrarás bebiendo de ellas
pues en la muerte siempre estoy sediento.
If You Ever Visit Huhi
SEPTEMBER 27, 2012 / GERARDOGPM
This poem is one (if not the first poem) ever published in my life. The poem is a reflection about my home town, Huhi.
If You Ever Visit Huhi
if you ever visit Huhi, find my parents,
they live in a small house covered with mud walls.
they must be old by now, but they are waiting
for me. tell them you saw me here in the desert,
alone, and thirsty. tell them i want to come back
home to rest in peace in my hammock. tell them
i have not slept for years and i want to dream again.
if you ever visit Huhi, go to the cemetery and find
a grave, newly dug. find don juanito, tell him
i am coming home soon. tell him my parents will
pay him with two chickens and a dove if he gives
me lots of water when the droughts begin,
i am thirsty and you do not know how painful
it is to be thirsty and have no water to drink.
if you ever visit Huhi, find doña micaela,
mi abuela, and tell her to cook me a good cochinita
with lots of red onions, and chiles habaneros.
tell her to bring it to the graveyard every dia de muertos,
so those who have no one to cook for them
can taste it, too. tell her i miss her cooking
and her laughter, please if you find her alive tell her
i always think about her and my grandfather, el leñador.
if you ever visit Huhi, go to the church and find
el padrecito and tell him to offer a mass for my
soul, a mass will give me strength. knowing
someone is waiting for me makes me happy.
tell him i am coming home soon, my parents
will pray to the Virgin a whole year.
tell him if he has some left-over wine, he can
pour some on top of my grave. i am thirsty.
if you ever visit Huhi, wait in the dark alleys
i once roamed, listen to my cries, be silent, do not
be afraid, as it is only me, your old friend,
the one who roams the desert. soon, i will arrive
at the town where i was born many summers ago.
if you ever visit huhi, visit the lagoons,
you will be able to find me there drinking
water as i am dead and very thirsty.
https://gerardogpm.wordpress.com/2012/09/27/if-you-ever-visit-huhi/
Post- Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference Thoughts
Post- Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference Thoughts
written by Gerardo Pacheco Matus-Work-Study Scholar (aka Waitership)
Special Thanks to Michael Collier, Jennifer Grotz, Noreen Cargill, Jason Lamb and Camille T. Dungy for giving me the chance to be part of Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference 2015, and for making me feel I belong to this great family. I also want to thank all of the people who supported and helped me financially and emotionally to get to the Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference 2015.
What did I gain as part of Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference?
The knowledge and the inspiration are unique and great. Having the opportunity to share this unique experience and place with the most outstanding writers in the country has been a great experience that can only be summoned to one word, inspiration.
By writing about my experience as a Work-Study Scholar (aka Waitership), I am trying to expressed ideas and feelings as I believe Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference has made a great impact in my personal and professional life. My experience as a Work-Study Scholar was a unique. I hope every body can have the same opportunity to experience the Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference at some point in life.
Even though, my team and I worked three or four meal shifts per day, we were able to find energy to go out and be part of the many craft classes, workshops, readings and social events. I found myself sleeping for five hours or less and getting up when the campus bell was rang for breakfast (7:30am).
My workshop leader had warned me, “You as a waiter have to prioritize. First work and workshop and then if you can go to the other events.” I can go on about the many things that my team and I went through, good and bad, exciting and frustrating, but I guess this whole experience taught us to bound and to build a community of waiters-writers-human beings-dreamers.
There is no time in the Mountain for self-pity, or time to waste with nonsense.
On my first day, I took a nice hiking trip around Middlebury College. Hiking pays off because I met a great writer and professor, who taught me how to understand the ins and outs of Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference.
This professor was walking on the street by herself. I was happy to see this person walking alone because I have gotten myself lost while looking for Robert Frost’s cabin. I approached this professor and asked for directions.
I didn’t think about this, but after a while, I thought about it carefully, she must be afraid of me, a brown man holding a wooden stick mumbling to myself how stupid I was for not finding Robert Frost’s Cabin. Indeed, this professor admitted to me later on that she was afraid of me, and that she wanted to grab a rock just in case. Good thing she didn’t find a stone because she might have used it on me.
I feel happy because this professor was willing to help me coupe with the active Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference’s life. Also this professor couched me how to read my poems out load, a teaching lesson I won’t ever forget.
Before and After Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference
Every time, I feel like my journey as a writer and Poet has reached its end, or whenever I feel I have no energy, something always happens that shows me there is still hope. This time, Bread Loaf proved me that there is still hope even for me.
I am trying to understand my role as a Bread Loaf Scholar. Now, I like to think of myself as an Ambassador of Bread Loaf’s believes. This tittle implies a great deal, and I am not assuming to know the right answers for Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference at all, but after ten days at the Mountain, my life has been changed. Now, I can say I belong to a great family of writers.
Once, I arrived to California, I had an emotional melt down. I asked myself why was I feeling like this? I reflected for many hours about this feeling of misplacement. “It was only ten days,” I told myself, “I shouldn’t feel like this, lost and misplaced.”
At that moment, I felt like I didn’t belong here or there. One more time in my life, I felt like my world has become part of a bubble of ether. How can ten days at the Mountain have so much power to change me?
This is the magic of being isolated and sharing ideas, meals and rooms with the best writers I have ever met. This is what breathing that muggy air of the Vermont Mountain can make to people who have never belong to a community of writers before.
Redwood City, CA. August 28, 2015.
Photo: Michael Collier, Gerardo Pacheco Matus and Helena Maria Viramontes (Fellow Waiters for a Day)
, 
El Gran Comandante a Muerto
El Gran Comandante a Muerto
Author: Gerardo Pacheco Matus
el gran Comandante de la patria a muerto,
y los zopilotes no lo saben.
un aire nuevo de prosperidad y cambio
se avecina como una tormenta.
la revolución del monte y la selva se a acabado,
y muy pronto el malecón de los barcos olvidados,
se llenaran de nuevos cruceros provenientes de todo el mundo.
lo nuevo será lo viejo, y lo viejo será lo nuevo.
muy pronto el vejuco verde que cubre las casas
de los pobres con su implacable verdor
será arrancado de raíz, y las flores blancas,
rojas y azules, de un nuevo imperio brotaron,
en esta tierra de hambre y sueños truncados,
con la única misión de plagar este nuevo paraíso.
dios mediante, los balseros regresaran a su patria,
y serán considerados los nuevos héroes
de una patria que el Comandante nunca se imagino.
las goteras del capitolio nacional serán reparadas,
y las paredes peladas y descoloridas de las chozas
de los mas pobres se llenaran de frases nuevas del cambio.
la ideología comunista de los abuelos de la revolución
será cambiada con la de la prosperidad.
los monumentos de los grandes héroes de la patria
serán reemplazados con las estatuas del payaso MccDonalds,
y uno que otro coronel de Kenntucky Fried Chicken,
y sin olvidarnos de la WalL*Mart, o la Cocaa-Colaa Company.
los banqueros de botas de cowboy y sombreros Stettson
llegaran muy pronto y trataran de comprar un pedazo
de esta vieja nación con dinero de la petrolera ShellL.
el pobre revolucionario será expulsado
de sus casas que se han estado derrumbando
por medio siglo, y se marcharan al monte, o a la selva,
o a la sierra madre, o a donde la santa providencia disponga,
para esperar la resurrección del gran Comandante.
pronto el millonario llegara, y nuevos palacios
se edificaran a su nombre. pronto los Buuick y los Plymoths viejos,
serán retirados de circulación, y los carros últimos modelos
llegaran desde la madria patria. pronto, el pobre revoluciónario
será contratado como chofer, lava platos, mozo, jardinero
y recamarero en los nuevos hoteles Hillton.
el cambio se avecina, y nadien lo puede detener.
Shark Fins
Shark Fins
By Gerardo Pacheco Matus
a lonely shark plummets
down like led
into the ocean’s abyss
bleeding & trashing
oh, poor lonely shark
left to roam the ocean sea
without its dorsal fins
lost forever in a dark world
of water & fish
i can’t help it…
i’m thinking about eyes
that can’t see
hearts that can’t feel
hands that can’t hold
many summers ago
i read somewhere
that if you ever pluck
a person’s eyes
the person will wander off
forever in the dark afterlife
blind and deaf
searching for its eyes
i hope the poor shark
won’t linger in pain
in the heaven sea
searching for its fins
The Old Chess Player
The Old Chess Player
i can see the old man
sitting inside of his dark cell
a chess board
sits in front of the light—
the shadows of queens & kings
motionless in time—
no motion forward—
no motion backwards—
time stuck—
the old man thinks:
what is
the next thing
to do
in this world
of white and black;
Gerardo Pacheco Matus 